Taste of poison...

We all want to change and alter a part of our past so bad that it will forever dictate our future. We daydream constantly of endless evils we will conquer if only we had our present knowledge in the past. Why do we demolish the opportunity of a second chance if that's what we been searching for all along? Do we have a addiction to the conflicts we encounter while searching for the opportunity to make wrong right? And when that magical second chance actually presents it self to the undeserving soul we squeeze it so tight that it crumbles in our seasoned and unnurturing hands until all we are left with is a hollow shell filled with self pity. We watch the gift we been yearning for slip Thur our finger like sand. The tighter the grip the faster it runs away. We must have this primal attraction as adults to conflict and failure. We grow into our self manufactured pain. We per fer the bitter taste of wine over the sweet taste of desert. I myself is yearning for someone to give it all up for.I have severed the lifeline to my happiness for even the most undeserving individuals. Is it the sacrifice I am attached to or the pain that is sure to follow? I wanna hurt for someone's pleasure...