Bring on the Night

I am closing it down, boarding up shop. I don't want the help. I want the pain to dig deep in and never leave. I plan on crawling into the dark; the very dark I once feared, the same dark I am now morbidly attracted too. I don't deserve to be rescued from the tormenting demons that breached my membrane and attached itself to my soul. I crave the opportunity to cut the throat of my happiness and severe any attachments to the participants that bring joy which I do not deserve. I am broken and unfix-able. I despise the entire concept of deserving anyway. I firmly believe nobody deserves anything you get what you earn. I haven't earned a single piece of happiness. I been camouflaging my misery and self hatred behind hollow dreams of successful desires. Truth is I am aroused with being scared and damaged. No matter how many times I attempt to bury my unorthodox desires, the raw truth finds it's way back into the light. A man can do a million things in a lifetime, however who he is remains deep within his soul where it's tamper proof. The dark stain that resides deep inside me is a born warrior, but this gifted citizens talents have been left to idle since I stripped myself from the honor I once possessed. Experience are supposed to define us, however this one deprived me. I am left with a eternity absent of destiny. I am black balled warrior with no place in this world. A requirement for my happiness is having a hand in the extinction of evil.